{"product_id":"retirement-rut","title":"Retirement Rut","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe alarm clock is gone. The commute is a distant memory. And the days now follow a very precise rhythm — early bird special at 4:30pm, TV dinner by 6, and the faint, comforting waft of mothballs drifting through a living room that hasn't changed since 1987.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRetirement Rut is a warmly affectionate tribute to the golden years — the shuffleboard sweat, the TV dinner steam, and the particular cosiness of a life lived entirely on your own schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLight it for the retiree in your life. \u003cem\u003eThey've earned it.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent profile:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mothballs · TV dinner steam · Shuffleboard sweat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTagline:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003e\"Endless early bird.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAlso known as Golden Years Gunk — because accuracy is everything\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe perfect retirement party gift or cheeky send-off present\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand-poured by Stinkwicks — celebrating every stage of life, however pungent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eWarning: may cause the sudden urge to eat dinner at 4:30pm, complain about the volume on the telly, and fall asleep in a very comfortable chair.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Stinkwicks","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":57621664006479,"sku":"SWC00010","price":16.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9245\/7807\/files\/att.Qgzp2ulB_c2zE-HUZyIKPEhp5r8n27Nbx5NO869cpsA.jpg?v=1779912296","url":"https:\/\/www.stinkwicks.co.uk\/products\/retirement-rut","provider":"Stinkwicks","version":"1.0","type":"link"}