Midlife Crisis

It started with a gym membership. Then the hair dye. Then, somehow, a red convertible and a cologne that's at least fifteen years too young.

The leather seats are warm, the engine is loud, and the regret — well, the regret has its own very distinct aroma.

Midlife Crisis is a lovingly sardonic tribute to that very specific moment when someone decides they're absolutely not done yet. Light it in the garage, the home gym, or anywhere you need a gentle reminder that some decisions smell better in theory.

Scent profile: Leather seats · Cheap cologne · Regret gas

Tagline: "Red convertible reek."

• Also known as Sports Car Stale — for the connoisseur of poor decisions
• The perfect birthday gift for anyone turning 45, 50, or "fine, 55"
• Hand-poured by Stinkwicks — capturing life's most expensive phases

Warning: may cause the sudden urge to Google sports cars, book a skydive, or start a band. Again.